Need a five-minute chuckle break? Read on
Definitions: a mother's dictionary ... and one thing to check before you get a tattoo
A MOTHER'S DICTIONARY – some definitions
Bottle-feeding: An opportunity for daddy to get up at 2 am.
Dribbling: How teething babies wash their chins.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you're cross with him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not bringing them up properly.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labour is still vivid.
Prenatal: When your life was still your own.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Whodunnit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a cloth".
FINALLY
This made me smile, and is worth bearing in mind if you're planning on getting a tattoo ...
And if you've ever had a cake professionally made and have ended up with not quite what you hoped for, head here [warning: some of these cakes are more than a little disturbing]
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