A MOTHER'S DICTIONARY – some definitions

Bottle-feeding: An opportunity for daddy to get up at 2 am.

Dribbling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you're cross with him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not bringing them up properly.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labour is still vivid.

Prenatal: When your life was still your own.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Whodunnit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a cloth".

www.mikeysfunnies.com

FINALLY

This made me smile, and is worth bearing in mind if you're planning on getting a tattoo ...

And if you've ever had a cake professionally made and have ended up with not quite what you hoped for, head here [warning: some of these cakes are more than a little disturbing]